Going Back

Sometimes, in the springtime, it’s fun to just go back and be little all over again.

It’s fun to just let your inner child out. Build forts and sleep in them. Watch early morning cartoons on Saturday while eating your favorite sugar-coated cereal. To take off your shoes and play in the spring rainstorms. Turn on your favorite music and dance around the room. Wear fun character bandaids. Live off of mac and cheese and PB&J’s for a day.

It’s fun to just go back and pretend like you don’t have to grow up. Be carefree for just one day. Not have to worry about anything but having fun. That’s the best relaxation.

Longboarding: The First Fall

On Friday, my friends called me to come play with them. We decided to go longboarding. We simply longboarded around between our houses. It was a lot of fun!

Then, I had a brilliant idea. GO DOWN A BIG HILL! We found a really great hill to go down. It twisted just a little to give it some challenge, yet it was safe…or so I thought.

I started off, going smoothly. I didn’t gather speed wobble as I cruised down the hill. First curve, safe. I was rounding the second curve, and out of nowhere grew a rock! It was the size of my palm.

The rock lodged itself underneath my front axle. I had about half a second to decide what to do. Before I could react, I was thrown into the air. I flew what seemed like a mile. More than anything I wanted to land on my feet and be safe, but that was not the case. Instead I landed on my stomach. I slid quite a ways. I simply laid on the cement, feeling dead. My friends came over and laughed insanely at me. I knew that I had to have looked silly.

When I finally rolled over. I discovered holes in my favorite jeans, my left bracelet broke, my stomach was scratched, my left hand looked like tenderized steak, my right arm looked as if I tried to shave using sandpaper. Later that day, I discovered I had a cracked rib, and about ten bruises on my torso. After I fell, I tried to get up, but both my legs were too sore to support me. So I sat on my longboard down the rest of the hill. At the bottom, I forced myself to a standing position. I walked the rest of the ten blocks.

I got home and just relaxed. All of me was beaten up pretty badly.

The next day, I woke up, and went to Lagoon. haha.

I Forgive You

It’s a commandment to forgive one another. Not that everyone does it though.

Most people, if they were to get offended, would hold a grudge. If someone stole something of theirs, they would get angry. If someone sinned against them worse, they would certainly never forgive them. They would want revenge most likely.

But really, isn’t that stupid? Where is a grudge going to get us? Wasn’t there a horror movie named that? If a horror movie can be named after something you’re carrying, you should probably drop it.

Anger really isn’t going to get you anywhere either. Sure you can feel upset, but why waste your energy and time on something boring like that. On your death bed, are you going to say “Oh man, I wish I spent more time angry!”? I highly doubt it. Spend time on doing something fun, that you want to do!

An eye for an eye only makes the world blind. For real. Seeking revenge; Doesn’t that make you just as low was the other person, if not lower? I personally would rather be the better person and simply forgive the offender. It’s the best way to get them. =)

Really, someone may do something terrible to you, but it’s not worth it to let it eat at you. Forgive them and move on. It’s much less painful that way.

So to you who just hurt me most, I forgive you. You’re still a great person. Just try to do better next time, please.

Music

When I was younger, I used to pay attention to music a lot. Then I grew up a little, and by the time I reached late elementary school, I didn’t pay attention to music. It seemed like everyone I knew was listening to music that made me sick. I learned to block it out.

Seventh grade rolled around, and I joined orchestra. Took up viola. It was stupid at first, because I still blocked music out, so the notes all sounded the same, and all the little pieces were the same, I swear! I was about to give up. Thank heavens my teacher didn’t give up on me. Mr. Davis, the best teacher anyone could ever have. He taught me the difference between the notes, and the musical styles.

By the time I got to ninth grade, I could successfully tell you if I was out of tune. It was a tough class though. I, being the forgetful person I am, lost my objective sheets, and lost any sort of inspiration to keep up in class. I didn’t stop listening to the music, I just didn’t pay it much attention.

Sadly, I kept that bad habit. During my tenth grade year, I learned to find music again. About halfway through the year, however, I did want to give it up. It wasn’t as fun anymore. My classmates weren’t too nice to me, and it took the fun out of playing. I decided to go on tour to Disneyland. Music was back!

After tour, music seemed a lot more fun. I had friends who were very much into music, and who made me keep playing. I had a new outlook on musical pieces. They all painted pictures in my head, brought up memories I’d buried.

I love music!

Surfing

I just got mostly over my fear of water, and now, I WANT TO GO SURFING!

It looks way hard, but way fun. All I want to do is go to Cali for the summer and take surf lessons! I know a lot about it already, I just need lessons on HOW to do it! I wouldn’t care about getting hurt, I just want to surf.

My dream for when I turn 18: For the summer I want to get a vintage VW bug…any color at all. It has to have a surf rack on top, then I want to get a surfboard and take lessons! I want to eat ice cream on the beach between lessons! Of course I’d take Danny with me…and probably snag my other friends to come too. But that would seriously rock!

Group 18…

Nothing makes friends like a total of 24 hours on a bus with your peers. Tour really does strange things to people, but creating friendships is the highlight of it all.

Everyone can agree that sitting on a bus for 12 hours at a time sucks, especially if you’re sitting next to people you’ve never met before. To break the ice, I simply stuck out my hand and said “Hi, Im Morgan. What’s your name?” BAM! Instant friendship! That’s how I met two of my newest best friends. Nathan and Brandon.

I already knew the names of the other people I was sitting with. Which made it super easy to bond with them. I never thought, though, that I would get to know them all as well as I did. It’s great!

I love them all so much! All of group 18! It’s hard not to love them!

Im going to miss each of them! Kayley for the wonderful talks we have about certain someones. Chris for his random thoughts he comes up with. Jackson for his sarcasm toward everything. Zak for his sweet disposition. Josh for his great ability to turn anything into a joke. Nathan for how much fun he is to be around (and because he’s the only guy I’ve ever met who USED TO BE blond and straight). Brandon for his quirky nerdiness that makes him funny. Brandy for her lack of control on her hormones. Summers for his child-like personality. Paige for her thoughts and ideas.

Ducks

Angie is so…weird. I swear, everytime she comes back here, she comes up with something even more strange than the last time.

Usually she brings home a stray cat, maybe a new toy…this time she brought home two ducklings. I swear, someone dropped my sister on her head one too many times.

I don’t mind the ducks. They’re really cute. One is yellow, and the other is black. The black one, Fuzzy, is younger than the yellow one, Sunny. Sunny is this spazzy little dude. He won’t sit still! He’s constantly jumping around and peeping. Fuzzy is so much easier to take care of. He just sits here in a little ball next to me. He rarely ever makes a sound.

UCK! Sunny just pooped on my leg…ew…ew…ew! *note to self: potty train the ducks*

Just Pretending

I was talking to my friend. He’s been hurting my feelings, not intentionally, but it still hurts me, and he realizes it. There isn’t much either of us can do about the situation. I told him that it’s okay. He told me “It’s not, and you know it.”

I said “so? I can still pretend it is.”  I always pretend things are okay. It makes me worry less about them.

He told me that I shouldn’t do that. He also said “You’ll figure it out, just think about it.”

I don’t understand. Isn’t it okay to pretend that everything is okay? Especially if it’s out of my control.

Why?

Life was okay! I felt happy! My chest wasn’t hurting! I got to spend an hour with the love of my life! My sisters were smiling! The kids had been fed and everything! Life was great!

Or so I thought.

Angie used again. I feel sick for that. I hate it when she does that! It makes me sad.

I wanted to tell Danny, but he seemed really troubled today. I tried not to bother him, which made him worse. By the time our conversation ended, he was rather upset. I didn’t get to hear him say he loves before he disappeared.  That’s all I wanted to hear…that’s all.

So now here I sit, in tears, in pain. Why? What did I do wrong? I hate myself for it all, I shouldn’t be crying, I can’t help it. I feel so…stupid. Why? Why me? Why is it always me?

Second Place Again

Maybe I suffer from middle child syndrom, but I don’t think so.

I’m the middle child of my mom’s kids. I have two older sisters (Angie, 25, and Jentry, 23), and two younger brothers (Chandler, 5, and Derek, 6 months). My older sisters are quite the trouble makers, so they get a lot of attention. My little brothers are, well, little. They can’t do anything for themselves because they have yet to learn how. The fact that they’re boys too earns them extra attention. Jentry’s two kids live with me too, so they get a lot of attention. Since I neither cause trouble, nor need constant help, I get forgotten about.

I’m sick and in a lot of pain, but because Angie is back on drugs, she gets the attention. Just when it all happened (the chest pains), Jentry got sick too, so she gets the attention. I finally convinced my grandma to take me to the doctor’s office. Of course though, I have to wait at least a week because that’s when Chandler has an appointment to go.

I know my grandma is only one person, and can only help each of us one at a time according the importance of our needs. I just wish that my needs would be important enough to get cared about.

I’m in so much pain right now. I keep crying. My sisters keep stealing the attention. I try so hard to be the good girl so that no one has to worry about me, but being the good girl makes me easily forgettable I guess.

So here I sit, in pain, in tears. In second place again.